reality

my boss always tells me something like this: "when you choose to love people, you choose to open up your life to the possibility of heartbreak and pain." he says it better, i'm sure...but the message is there. and i feel like it has embodied itself as the theme of my week, maybe even my semester.
it is truth...when the people you love get hurt, you hurt. whether self-inflicted or out of their control, it still hurts my heart to see people i love walk through pain.
it has left me currently in a sense of helplessness. maybe a little bit of defeat mixed in there. however, i feel that in this state, i have also found a deep need for the Lord. across the board, i have seen people, my students, turning their face toward the Lord. He is most definitely making good out of bad. and that is great.

i've also been learning about prayer. it's a mystery. that's all i know.

i feel that this is a bit vague. but...i wanted to update my blog. and i wanted to be honest. so...i wanted to write this.

winter

it's been a crazy past few weeks in my life. i don't even know where to begin.

one: i got accepted to truett seminary. i am both excited and unsure. upon admittance, i also was told i did not get a large scholarship i had applied for. attached to that sheet of paper was another sheet asking me to accept the scholarship (opposing papers). i called and they clarified: i did not get the scholarship. that was an interesting feeling.
but...i did get accepted. this is an exciting option for the future.

two: the weather has been crazy. we had 2 snow days last week. that was an enjoyable break. photos:

aleece with her snow angel in the background. awkward, but lovely.


playing in the snowed-over corn field next to my house. welcome to west texas. doesn't it just look cold?


three: i did my taxes. i'm getting a decent amount of money back. this is a great blessing. however, i forgot to put my W2 in the mail with my form. i expect this to be a problem shortly.

four: there have been several events/experiences lately that the Lord is using in cool ways. I feel like in general they all culminate to bringing me out of my head and into my heart. I don't know if it's my age, my stage of spiritual growth, my job, or just the way my mind works, but I have been trapped in my head for a few weeks. I mean...really obsessing over trivial theology--trying to master concepts that ultimately are unconquerable. and getting distracted from what matters most. and it is both humbling and astounding to see how the Lord moves in my life to stir my passion for Him--how He knows me and loves me and finds ways in my life to draw me back to loving, trusting, and abiding in Him.