faces.

i feel like i'm in the middle of a wild paradox. i am an uncertain mix of emotions.

at any moment in the day, i am feeling a million contradicting thoughts.

today's thoughts:
i really wish i could give all religions a fair chance. but i cannot. because i have committed to Christianity. i am not unsatisfied. i just feel bad for all the other ones that i have ruled out, without really considering. i mean...i understand it. i don't feel like i need to abandon Jesus and check out all my options. i just feel bad that i never really gave the others a chance. it's like marrying your high school sweetheart.
i don't know if i need to explain the contradiction in this thought process. i feel like it would take a lot of words, so...i'm not going to. i think it's obvious enough.

the largest of my contradicting thoughts would be my attitude toward this place. there are so many things/people that i really have no interest leaving. i mean...so many. but then in the other pocket there are a crapload of things that i will never miss. i many not even think of them at all. the worst part would be these random semi-familiar faces that i see around campus. there are so many people here that i recognize and it's beginning to drive me crazy. people i just barely know, like maybe we had a class together or they've been to the BSM once. or i've helped them open their PO box before. for some reason, i just really want those vague, half-known people to go away. (which will come in the form of me going away.)

this is nonsense.